Guilty of a crime that doesn’t even exist. I’d tell you more, but I’d ruin the mystery of my image. Sufficed to say, they wanted me to pay over £100 in fines and court costs, and it’s even more for the cost of appeal (but that is refundable).
Now, they need the money within two weeks or my guilty verdict sticks. They will allow a payment plan on fines and court cost, but not on appeal. The plan, of course, is to stick me to the guilty verdict.
On top of that, while researching options, I found out this judge is a fraud. He raises money for the court by finding everyone guilty, but grants appeal to those who want and can afford it. Judges have been known to do time for this sort of thing, and I plan for this one to be no different.
Things look rather bleak for The Ceej. I have no conceivable way to get the money in time, but your children’s history books will attribute two quotes to me. They are as follows:
“If you submit, you’ve already lost.”
And, “The only futile fight is the one you never fought.”
Rodenhauser, I hope you have a better lawyer than I do, because you’re going down so hard the reinforced floor won’t hold you.