White Lies In Friendship

Simply put, they don’t exist.  White lies and friendship are mutually exclusive.  If your friend tells you a white lie, you were just being manipulated.  He is not your friend.

I know it’s hard to explain in this day and age where you have fifty thousand Facebook friends, but friendship is something more than an avatar on your Facebook profile.  You simply don’t have the time and resources to dedicate to fifty thousands friendships.  That’s not to say some of them can’t be your friends, but friendship is a bit more than, “I want you to be my friend.  Do you?”

And true friendship requires honesty, even when it’s unpleasant.  Especially when it’s unpleasant. A friend doesn’t let you go outside in that dress because she wanted to avoid the conflict when you asked her if it made your bum look big.  A true friend would tell you so.  White lies are the worst and most selfish kind.  They also have the shadiest goals.

How many times have you thought you had a decent friendship? No indication that anything was ever wrong.  And, out of nowhere, the “friend” is avoiding you.  Not answering your calls, blocked you on your messenger, etc.  No indication at all.  Well, the reason that friendship is over is that it never existed to begin with.  This person was just manipulating you and when he was done, he threw you away.  He’s doing it to someone else now.  The end of a real friendship comes with no surprises.  And, unless the problem is huge, you can see it coming from a kilometre away.

A true friend will not tell you what you want to hear to keep the peace.  A true friend has the decency to say “fuck you” to your face.  A true friend will help you be who you should be by having no qualms about telling you who you shouldn’t.  He may help you lie to others, but he will never lie to you.

If all your friends are yes-men that always agree with you and never conflict with you, then you’re just a lonely person who is being manipulated by a lot of people.

Tell me the truth and it may hurt me, but I will get over it.

Lie to me and appease me now, but I will hate you so much later, and you’ll wish you just hurt me at the time.

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