Ceej: A Mental Breakdown – Part XXVI: Fear Of Commitment…

Previously on Ceej: A Mental Breakdown


Part XXVI: Fear Of Commitment…

My appointment was only a week away, and I had to prepare for the worst.  Even though most of the two years I had been off my meds were a lot better than any of the time I had been on them, recent events were skewing public opinion about it, and they would no doubt skew Dr. Lachman’s.

I had to plan for the worst.  I was sure I was going to end up committed again and, this time, I wasn’t going to be caught off guard.  This time, I was going to be ready.  I wasn’t going to be ambushed.  I wasn’t going to be tricked.  I wasn’t going to have information withheld from me.  But, most of all, I wasn’t going to be without a plan…

My neighbour, Mike, understood what I was going through and agreed to help me.  He told me I was probably worrying over nothing but, if I wasn’t, he would be there.  He would help me out.  Anything that could be used against me in a commitment hearing, he sealed.  He wouldn’t even acknowledge it existed to me without a secret code word.  This was supposed to prevent me from asking for it under duress.

If I wasn’t home by 5:00, the other plan went into action.  They weren’t going to take me without a fight.  I was under their thumb for too long.  Now, they’re under mine.

I wasn’t going to tell her this, but going into Dr. Lachman’s office, I was terrified.  As I said, I was sure she was going to have me committed…

Stay tuned for Part XXVII…



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