Part XXIII: To Trip And Fall…
The two-year anniversary of the day I had gotten completely off my meds was fast approaching, and so much had changed in the past two years, mostly for the better. Damien had moved to Utah, and Alex had been so busy I barely heard from him anymore. But, that was all right, I guess. I had new friends now.
Recently, I had been feeling feelings I couldn’t explain… Like, I was afraid… But, of what? I shrugged it off. I couldn’t imagine what I could be afraid of. Except, now I was afraid that I was feeling fear for no reason. I didn’t want to talk to Dr. Lachman about it. I hadn’t been locked up in seven years now, and I’d like to keep it that way.
But, I just couldn’t help but wonder why I felt this fear…
* * *
Kevin was going to take me to a bar tonight. That should help me chill out and not worry about this stuff. Except, I found out Kevin wasn’t going to take me to the bar. He wanted me to take him. In my brother’s car, no less. I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I knew I was going against my brother’s wishes. Effectively, I was stealing his car. But, what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, I supposed.
He found out from Kevin… Later that night. I was freaking out, pushing people away, and even talking about running off somewhere else… On foot. How exactly did I get this way? It looked like I was tripping on acid, I was told.
Acid? LSD? The stuff that makes you hallucinate? I don’t remember any hallucinations. And how could I have taken LSD without my knowing about it? Was it when I left my drink unattended at the bar?
By all accounts, while it was happening, I was tripping on something. But why? Who would do this to me? What were they hoping to accomplish? Kevin had me captured and locked in his room. He said it was because he cared about me. He wanted me to come down before he would let me drive home. But, he called my parents. He called my brother. And he told them I was having an “episode.” So, here I was, in his bedroom, freaking out. Freaking out not just like I was before, but also about whether I was going to get locked up again.
Of course, I couldn’t sleep. All I could do was think… Try to remember… Remember what? How it all started, maybe?