Part XXII: Drug To The Limit…
They could do this to me all they wanted. I was used to it. I had been taking it from all sides for a while. What was a little more? But, to Alex? To my best friend?
“No!” I insisted, “They aren’t going to do this to you!”
“Dude,” he didn’t seem concerned, “aren’t you on meds?”
“Not anymore. We’re going to get off together. But, you can’t just stop taking them.”
Why not? That’s a question asked by people who are new to psychotropics, or have never been on them. That’s the way they’re designed. If you get off them too fast, you start to get the worst side effects. Side effects you can’t stand. Literally, you can’t stand. You lose your balance and fall over. It’s like there’s no blood in your brain.
With no medical degree, or help from anyone who had one, I had to come up with not only a plan for how I was going to get off these drugs, but also one for Alex. Obviously, I couldn’t trust a psychiatrist with the information I needed, and the internet was of little help. The plan was mine, and mine alone.
Surprisingly, the plan was rather accurate for a layman, and required no adjustment on my part and very little on Alex’s. The first thing we both noticed is that we weren’t sleeping as much, but we were more rested. We also both noticed a marked improvement in clarity, intelligence, and willpower. I noticed a supercharged surge of creativity, and pounded out both Neko and Singing In The Shower in a matter of months.
But there was a problem… Every pill we weren’t taking was a pill that would otherwise stay in the bottle. I didn’t know about Alex, but I was surrounded by people that adamantly believed I needed them, or I needed to be committed. If I was no longer taking the meds, wouldn’t they know?
The scam was simple. I would take the skills I had learned in the hospitals, and I would apply them here. I would pop the pills, and then immediately tongue the ones I wasn’t taking. After I swallowed, I would dispose of them. Even five months later, when I was completely off of them, I continued to fill the prescriptions, and dispose of the drugs a dose at a time. No one was any the wiser.
On the contrary, they believed I was on my meds now more than they did when I really was on them. Could it be, now, that I was really home free? Could this finally be the end of all the pain? After all these years? After all this suffering? Well, it wasn’t paradise or anything, but at least it was better than it was before. But, after a couple years, things started to get a little weird…