The Opening Question Mark, And Why It’s Necessary)

You may notice just a closing parenthesis in the title.  That’s not a typo.  English speakers have rejected the notion of opening punctuation with the question mark and exclamation point.  I’m simply pointing out the implications of making that ridiculous decision consistent.

In my personal life, I once said, there’s really no point for opening quotations in a language that rejects opening question marks.”

Imagine how confusing it gets, having the only clue as to when the quotes actually begin being context clues.  When the parenthetical documentation begins.  It’s the same confusion you inflict on the rest of the world when you just close your question with punctuation but not open it that way, ¿you see?  When it’s clear when the question actually begins, grammar is a lot easier to understand.  Americans like things easier to understand, ¿right?  Then, ¿why do they reject the opening question mark?  ¿Is it because they also love inconsistency? Hint: It is.)

English, especially the American variety, though the proper variety is not much better) is one of the most fucked up languages in the world, second only to Russian).  The rules are rejected, excepted, ignored yet, at the same time, fascistly followed to a T.  English is nothing if not inconsistent.

If you have trouble following my grammar in this article, you need to ask yourself, ¿Why am I confusing the rest of the world with my inconsistent punctuation?” And ¡how!

You do have a point.  ¿Why are you confusing the rest of the world with that?  Almost every half decent comedian, and even some horrible ones) have made fun of how stupid your decisions with the English language are, yet you can’t seem to fix that.  You laugh and say, that’s so true,” but you don’t change anything.  You continue these horrible traditions for no other reason than everyone else does it.

Well, it is your fault.  You personally.  You are to blame.  It’s not the crowd.”  It’s just you.

Why do I say that?  Because, as a wise man once said, No single rain drop believes it is to blame for the flood.”  You are the single rain drop, and you are to blame.  ¡STOP IT!

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