Recently, a very interesting lady contacted me on AIM. I always like it when people deviate from the norm, and this lady didn’t disappoint. Far be it from me to judge, but it seemed like her elevator also didn’t go to the top floor. Like she had a slight problem listening and everything, but I try to like people, so I gave her a chance. I wanted to let her help me select a kitten to adopt.
kerrihartlenjgq: hi ;-)
The Ceej: I’m sorry. I’ve been awfully busy lately. Do you mind reminding me who you are?
kerrihartlenjgq: hey 20/f/California here, found u in the AOL member directory. do u want to chat?
The Ceej: I was just looking for someone to chat with. I was thinking about adopting a kitten. What do you think of Siamese?
kerrihartlenjgq: i hope you wanna talk 2 a horny girl 2day? ;)
The Ceej: Those are probably tumors on your head. I think you should have a doctor look at those.
kerrihartlenjgq: i just finished taking a shower and im sitting here in my towel ;) im kind of in the mood to have some fun….u?
The Ceej: What kind of fun? Bowling? I like bowling but, if you’re in California, that’s a bit far for me to travel just to wear a silly shirt and throw balls down a lane.
kerrihartlenjgq: do you like when a girl shakes her ass for you? or are you a tits kinda guy ;x
The Ceej: Well, to be honest, it doesn’t do anything for me. I like dudes. If you’re talking about THAT kind of fun, maybe you have a gay brother I can talk to.
kerrihartlenjgq: i have alot of both… wanna see? :)
The Ceej: I’m not blind or anything, so I ca— Wait a minute! Are you threatening me!?
kerrihartlenjgq: well i have a webcam i can show you cutie.. I can turn it on if u want? ;)
The Ceej: Get your gay brother in the room first.
kerrihartlenjgq: one sec..btw I’m a squirter lol ever had a girl squirt for you?
The Ceej: Ew. Gross. You should have a doctor look at that. I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen.
kerrihartlenjgq: k my cam is up, go here http://www<snipped>com and click the green “accept invite” on the left of my page then fill out your info…see it babe?
The Ceej: Maybe we can just talk about what kind of kitten I should adopt. Maybe tabby. They’re easier to take care of but I don’t like their orange fur.
kerrihartlenjgq: hey to you to
The Ceej: Or maybe something wtih long hair like a persian.
The Ceej: Though, I’d have to get a better vacuum cleaner.
The Ceej: And I think my roommate is allergic.
kerrihartlenjgq: credit card is just to verify your age but as long as you use my invite its 100% free… ;)
The Ceej: Well, I know they’ll probably want a credit card just to be sure I’m serious about adoption. And to charge me for the spay or neuter procedure. Wait. You offer free pet adoption? I still think traveling to California would cost more, though.
kerrihartlenjgq: It’s free babe, you just need to verify you’re 18 that’s the only reason they ask for a card.. I’ve been on this site for months, they never charge
The Ceej: I don’t know about adopting a cat in California, though. That’s quite a trip for a simple pet adoption. We have a centre for that right here in town.
kerrihartlenjgq: wow Im so fucking wet ;) hurry up i wanna squirt for u xoxo
The Ceej: Okay, you should really towel off after a shower. And, I’m not a dermatoligist. I don’t need to see fluid ooze out of your boils.
The Ceej: Maybe I’ll just call the humane society in the morning. Clearly you don’t want to help. Thanks anyway.
At this point she stopped talking. I hope that squirting thing didn’t require immediate medical attention. I hope she’s okay. Maybe I’ll hear from her after she gets that taken care of.