Loaded Questions: What Kind Of Music Do You Listen To?

So, you’ve met somebody new, either a date or a platonic relationship, and you’re relatively new to them. (Doesn’t your ego love it when I make the story about you?)  You really don’t know each other yet, and you’re still learning the basics.  The good news is the person doesn’t ask how old you are.  It’s something different this time.  Travelling in this other person’s car, with no chance for escape, he turns to you and says, “So what kind of music do you listen to?”

A frightening experience, no?  That’s like if he turned to you and said, “So what race of people do you talk to?”

Okay, so it’s not exactly like that.  Prejudice against people is more dangerous than prejudice against ideas, but a person who is openly prejudiced against one thing could easily be presumed to be prejudiced against another.  That other might be black people, gay people, people with a third nipple, or worse.  People who listen to the wrong kind of music.

So, clearly, after this question, you fear for your life and want out of this car now.  Okay.  Maybe I’m exaggerating like a hyperbolic hypermanic.  At the very least, you feel uncomfortable.  It’s like getting to know a guy who seems very nice, taking a trip to the bathroom and finding a white robe in his closet.  You want to leave, but the doors are locked.  You may not be scared, but you know there’s going to be trouble.

Nobody legitimately likes or dislikes an entire genre of music.  If you’re one of the bigots who think they do, I’ll have some fun for you later.  Right now, listen to this witty line I told someone who rebutted my genre-preference is prejudice argument.

Roto13:  If I’ve listened to a thousand rap songs and didn’t like any of them, I see no need to give any more a chance.

The Ceej:  You didn’t listen to a thousand.  You listened to twelve… And they were all on the same album.  That’s like if I said, “If I’ve been mugged by a thousand black guys, I see no need to give any more of them a chance.”  I wasn’t mugged by a thousand.  I was mugged by twelve, and they were all in the same gang.

Needless to say, he took offence to the analogy. (You ever notice that “analogy” would be really dirty with the addition of just one letter?)  But, bigots always take offence to evidence against their position, don’t they?

Simply put, you can have all the preference you want about individual songs, or even artists.  People are different.  We like different things.  But genre is bullshit.  Genre is not a valid way to even categorise music, let alone judge it.  And, this is the part I mentioned above where I get to have fun with those who have faith in the genre system.  Now, in this game, I’m going to show you how songs in the same genre variate more than songs in different genres.  Get ready for link clicking:

Jazz Sample 1

Jazz Sample 2

Classical Sample That Sounds More Like Jazz Sample 2 Than Jazz Sample 1 Does

Rock Sample 1

Rock Sample 2

Easy Listening Sample That Sounds More Like Rock Sample 2 Than Rock Sample 1 Does

Techno Sample 1

Techno Sample 2

Disco Sample That Sounds More Like Techno Sample 2 Than Techno Sample 1 Does

Country Sample 1

Country Sample 2

Rock Sample That Sounds More Like Country Sample 2 Than Country Sample 1 Does but still closer to rap than any of the other rock samples

I could do this all day, but I’ve made my point and it’s time to move on.  I hope you liked at least one of those samples.  I think I liked eight of them.  But, what I hope more is you realised that genre is not only a useless system that brings no value to the art of music, but does socially detrimental damage and makes trips to the music store take so much longer than they should because you have to look for the same thing in four different sections.  Both of these problems would be solved if we combined all songs into the same genre.  We would call that genre, “music.”

I know.  It’s a little edgy.  So edgy it just might work.  Who knows?  It certainly hasn’t been tried yet.

There is a small problem with that.  Now, when you’re riding in the car with that bigot, he no longer has the question to ask to tip you off what kind of person he is.  That means, when he stabs you, it will come as a  complete surprise.  Every rose has its thorn, I guess.

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