2011 Worst Customer Service Of The Year Awards…

It’s April, and you know what that means…  No, not the news reporter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…  It’s time for the Worst Customer Service Of The Year Awards!  I know it’s going to be very difficult for any challenger to beat last years winner, Dell Computers, but someone did, believe it or not.

Mike Jandreau, allegedly former head of Lycos customer service has had to have his home phone number changed (I’m guessing more than once) due to the number of disgruntled customers phoning him up at home. He has been quoted by one particular user as having said, “I’m sorry, no one here has any intentions of helping you with anything.”  Ironically, when that person posted his personal information online, claiming, “I have had 81 death threats since last night, and 6 individuals have shown up at our corporate offices, looking to speak with me. All 6 of those individuals were asked to leave the premsises,” he had the audacity to blackmail the person to get it removed.  That person said, “We’re sorry, no one here has any intentions of helping you with anything.”

Absolutely poetic.  I love it.  I would link to all this and what have you, but it seems all the information is outdated. Mike is no longer listed as an employee of Lycos, and the home phone number is no longer operational.  Yeah.  I checked.  Something tells me he wouldn’t have gotten 81 death threats for pissing off one person.  I would guess only a small number of disgruntled customers will go as far as to make death threats or show up at the office.  And, if 81 customers made a death threat, and six showed up, then that’s a hell of a lot of disgruntled customers.  That’s all speculation, however.  Hearsay, if you will.  I can only attest for what happened to me.

I opened a support ticket, back in January, regarding their outrageously bugged then new mail servers.  There’s a post somewhere in archives that follows it up to a threat of bad publicity.  My article about their bad customer service back then caused them to reinstate my account, which they banned me from because I called them on their obvious lies.  The bad publicity changed that, but it didn’t end there.

I itemised every bug I could think of, in an attempt to get them to realise exactly what was wrong with their new servers, but they ignored me.  For six weeks, they ignored me.  So, I opened a new ticket, reporting abuse against Lycos Mail for ignoring me, but they fed me a line of bullshit about how they pride themselves in their top notch customer service (which is a problem considering it would be a compliment to say they have the worst customer service as that implies they have any at all), and asked me to specifically itemise the problems I was having (which I already had over eight posts for the last six weeks), thus making it clear that the part about having read the thread was a lie.  Then they merged the two tickets (again) and ignored me for another month. Last week, I got sick of this “ignore me until I create a new ticket then give one line of lip service, merge the tickets and disappear” bullshit they’d been doing the last four months, so I made an ultimatum.  I gave them till the close of business yesterday to let me speak to the second tier supervisor, directly, or I would use what I called, “alternative methods.”  I used that phrase because, at the time I said it, I had no idea what I was going to do.

Now that Lycos Mail has reneged on any claim it ever had to any sort of customer service, good or otherwise, I have come up with my “alternative methods,” and Lycos isn’t going to like them.  The first step is the Worst Customer Service Of The Year Award, which they should consider an honour as it’s more than they deserve.  Never once did anyone in Lycos Mail ever help me, and I have no reason to believe they ever helped anyone.  The only one to have good things to say about the customer service department of Lycos Mail is the customer service department of Lycos Mail.

Now, phase two will also be a negative publicity campaign, but I’m going to be a little more hush hush about that right now.  Phase three, I’m not even mentioning yet.

Also, if anyone has any advertising funds or ideas on how to get the word viral about Lycos Mail’s customer disservice, don’t hesitate to use my contact page to say so.  With 81 people willing to threaten to kill the customer disservice manager, I find it very hard to believe I can’t find enough people willing to donate so I can pay for my advertising campaign.  If I can’t, them something is terribly wrong with the priorities of disgruntled customers.

If Lycos can’t fix their customer service, then they’re going to go out of business.  Plain and simple.  It’s not like they have a service that sells itself despite customer service.  Right, Michael Dell?

Here’s your award, Lycos, for the Worst Customer Service Of The Year. Below this is a space for your apology, your acceptance speech, your concessions on what you’re going to do to right the wrongs you’ve committed against your customer base, your rebuttal, or whatever comments you want to leave.  Unlike you, I don’t censor dissent.

This post has been brought to you by Lycos Customer Care:

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